


i hate this part

by wintae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, kind of break up, winwin is leaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 07:41:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintae/pseuds/wintae
Summary: it’s not like sicheng was ever going to stay; it’s not like taeyong was going to hold on. except he does, and it sucks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> if it isn't clear, sicheng is an exchange student so he was only in korea 4 a year and the year is over. wintae probably got together near the end, but liked each other for most of the year
> 
>  
> 
> anyways,, ao3 user wintae finally wrote wintae and it's shitty angst 
> 
> i wrote this while listening to [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNIpsYVuH8s) because i am in lvoe with lee daehwi 
> 
> ok bye

the school year ends, and sicheng is set to leave two days before valentine’s day. and it’s today. 

taeyong takes his time getting up. he lays in bed past his alarm for a good 10 minutes. he’s tired, and he knows why. he couldn’t fall asleep after sicheng slipped out of his bed at midnight, mumbling that he still needed to pack a few things. 

after some painfully pensive breaths, taeyong rolls out of bed. he tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes, but it gets replaced by the sleep he didn’t get- the tossing that led him nowhere until he lugged himself out of bed to pull on pants and down a sleeping pill. 

he looks horrible, but he knows everyone would laugh at him for saying that. he’s handsome, they say. his piercing eyes make him attractive, they would follow up. but taeyong doesn’t want to be piercing eyes; he wants to be the reason sicheng smiles. 

he smiles an awful lot, but taeyong has noticed that they only rarely reach his eyes. the first time he caused sicheng to smile to big his eyes crinkled, he kissed him for the first time. because he was happy that he made sicheng happy enough to not push it down. 

sicheng told him once that he thought he was ugly when he smiled. taeyong frowned and pet his hair. sicheng continued on- telling him that it was his brother who told him first, and then a dance teacher in china next. he’s going back to china to train with that same teacher. taeyong cried himself to sleep after realizing that, about a week after sicheng told him. that he hates his smile. that he hates the thing that made taeyong’s heart sing. 

in front of the bathroom mirror now. taeyong brushes his hair back with his fingers, trying to feel something soft in his hand. sicheng’s hands, his mind goes to. even if they didn’t have a lot of time alone, for kisses, for more, for just them and only time, they held hands so much that taeyong believed he has memorized what it felt like. the thing is, once you’ve discovered and mapped something you love from memory, you can never recreate it with something else. you’re just waiting for it back, and taeyong doesn’t think he’ll ever get it back. 

it was silly, their relationship. everyone knew it wouldn’t last, and no one stopped taeyong from doing this, or sicheng for reciprocating. in fact, they all encouraged it. like those happy days would make the crushing sadness and regret wash away. no, it made it worse. taeyong has had plenty of missed opportunities in his life; he could deal with another one. he could deal with wondering what it would’ve been like to kiss dong sicheng. the answer is that it feels like you’re flying and there’s nothing that could make you hate this feeling. you’re always going to want it, want it back. 

taeyong wonders if sicheng feels this way as well. how selfish of him, to drag him down with him. 

taeyong splashes his face with freezing water and goes to fly one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos if u want
> 
> comment if u want 
> 
> follow me on twt @ daehwiz 
> 
> if u want..


End file.
